I haven’t posted in a while, mostly because I was festering in a great big pool of my own misery, and I couldn’t see any humor in my situation.
I wrote about my search for an internship before here: but as time went by, things did not really improve. I had one interview with one of the largest companies in France and in the world (hint, they were mentioned in Michael Moore’s movie Super Size Me, for serving crap, obesity inducing lunches to American high school kids, as well as complaints about everything from racism to environmental destruction: in other words, your typical eat-babies-for-breakfast-multinational-devil-incarnate.)
I should have known something was not right when they cancelled the first interview and asked to call at 8.00 am in the morning. Or when they called 15 minutes later. Or when they switched my second interview to 4.00pm. But none of that stopped me from preparing the shit out of it, in it to win it style.
But the girl I spoke to didn’t seem very impressed. In fact it seemed like there was something really smelly under her nose. Later, my professor cried racist like Julius Malema in this video: but I wasn’t really convinced.
I mean, if I walk around screaming ‘is it because I’m black?’ How far do I expect to go? Saving the race card for later, okay? No need to max that sh*t out.
As the desperation threatened to burn an ulcer into my stomach, I watched my whiny classmates land fabulous internships with mega companies. I was in hell. A boring hell at that, because all I could talk about, think about, dream about, was my lack of gainful employment. Of course, I could always slink back home in shame and pretend that it was my plan all along. Or not.
The months dragged on and pretty soon I had to move out of my student room. My life was in the dump like this:
And bought some caviar to celebrate just for the f*ck of it ( We have to ‘celebrate’ endings just as much as we do beginnings…yeah? ):
And took a final tour of my town:
The thing that everyone does:
But, on the very last day, after scrubbing away all traces of my existence, bags packed with homelessness looming ahead of me, I finally got it. THE phone call.
Hello, Kristin…yeah, so after talking to some other candidates [yada yada how is the weather Obama] I’d like to offer you the internship.
I’m not going to go into details of my wacky interview, because I want everyone to think that I’m cool and savvy and I have an awesome internship.
That thing that people do, ati can I have some time to think about it?
I said hell yes. Threw my arms up in the air and said ‘Take Me!’
All I have to do now is not get fired.
Honestly, it was hard.
FYI, I promise my next post will be more entertaining…