The Obligatory Facebook Rant

So apparently, the maximum number of Friends you can have on FB is 5 000. (They discovered this in 2010, but I hope most of you live under a rock like I do so this is news to you too.)

I have more than 800 friends on Facebook. Many of those people, I have no intention of ever speaking to ever again. Some of them, I’m not sure I know them: after two or three nickname changes, it’s impossible to keep track. (This guy tried out a social experiment on FB and the results were hilarious.)

I was one of those people who joyfully switched over to Timeline in March- only to see my entire, embarrassing Facebook history.

Out went the ridiculous high school photos. And the angst ridden updates of whatever hormone fuelled emotional crises your average 17 year old goes through.

And so began a more cautious approach to this social media business. And now, I no longer know what to do on Facebook. In between having 100 and 800 friends, it lost much of it’s social value for me.  For me, FB is not even really a place I use to keep in touch with friends.  You meet someone and they add you the next day, even though you will never see them again and you have no reason to keep in touch. That creepy guy from the office sends you a request…and you have a couple of mutual friends. Okay, add them on. The idiotic classmates you can never have more than a five minute conversation. On there too. Your little sister’s best friend? Yep, accept.

The result? My Timeline is an apocalyptic wasteland populated by people who post endless photos of their food, uniform party pics and passive aggressive updates aimed at their significant others. (This guy though, may be putting in a bit too much energy on hating though)

Why do I need to know this?

I have only ever defriended one person in my life, and that is because her photos had me wondering if she was running an escort service on the side. I don’t unfriend people on Facebook for the same reason that I never throw away business cards: you never know when you might need it.

Like the rest of you prisoners, I probably won’t ever have the guts to deactivate my account: the most I will do is unsubscribe to all my high school friends’ newsfeeds (and all those people who use FB to spread posters advertising this weekend’s ‘hottest’ party).

Because the one thing that FB is good for is pure, unadulterated stalking. (And occasionally breaking some news days after Twitter has.) It’s a gigantic database of everyone you ever knew, and many who you actually don’t.  And it’s fertile ground to ‘investigate’ your ‘friends’ lives, success and general state of mind.

So until Apple and Facebook come together and force us to sell them our first born sons, let’s all enjoy keeping tabs on people we don’t really like and maybe stop sharing so many terrible self taken pics.

(this post came after a vigorous debate on the merits of using Facebook with one Just Jere.)

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6 thoughts on “The Obligatory Facebook Rant

  1. Angie Kagume

    Couldn’t have said it better! I have created so many FB lists, of who can see this, who can’t see that and ended up losing track of who is where seeing, stalking, imagining what with my pictures, updates etc etc I think FB is a monster, but we are too weak to let go.sigh. maybe next year I’ll leave it.just not today.

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  2. Jere

    Weh, plagiarism, I’ve read those lines somewhere and I don’t mean me.
    You have a point about those business cards though….but am still deleting! :-p

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      1. Just Jere

        it was me that said it? haha, didnt realize it for real…maybe i also read it somewhere.
        anyway, months after the threats, there is still no end in sight to deleting my account, its a trap 😦

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